I had a birthday this week, and not just any birthday, a significant one. I turned 29, which, if supposedly humourous greeting cards have taught me anything, I’ll be having again and again for the next few years.
I figured this would be a good time to reflect on some of the lessons I’ve learned in the past ten years. It’s been a most interesting decade indeed: moving to the big city for university, adventures abroad in Southeast Asia, starting my writing career, and plenty of trysts and lovers in between. So without further ado I present 12 things I’ve learned in my 20’s.
1 Always fully explore a building when you move in. I had this one place that I never ventured much beyond my apartment door, and lo and behold there was rooftop access from a door on the top floor that I didn’t discover until one week before I moved out. Just think of all the tanning and drinking I could have done up there!
2 Multiple orgasms are the way to go!
3 One day you will meet a man who can play your body like an instrument, and you will forever be at his mercy.
4 While time doesn’t heal all wounds, it certainly is the only things that will truly mend a broken heart.
5 Add enough lube (and a little MDMA) to make him feel like he’s getting a hand-job from angels.
6 The thrill of sneaking around, in the moment may outweigh the shame of telling someone (or just breaking up with them), you always have to live with the guilt of getting away with it. “The problem with trying to escape reality is that it’s always there when you return.” my diary, circa 2005.
7 Laziness is one of the most unattractive qualities in a partner.
8- Ditch all the toxic people you can from your life. You should only surround yourself with people that make you want to pick up the phone and call them.
9- Master 4 dishes- – an appetizer, two entrees, and a desert with which to wow people (aka cute boys) at potlucks.
10 Never read someone’s private writing (journals, letters, emails) unless you’re completely prepared to deal with what you find. You can never un-read something.
11 I was way too cryptic in my old diaries. I should have used more initials or something, half the time I don’t know who the hell “he” is.
12 Never take your jewelry off at a one-night stand’s house, especially one that ends with you slapping him in the face (I don’t want to get into it, but it was completely deserved).
If you have any life lessons that you’d like to contribute, leave a comment below.
Photo credit : http://homesweethanna.blogspot.com/2010/09/29-red-balloons-go-by.html