When thinking outside the box just isn't enough
Things are gonna change for me around here. Real soon. I’m done with being disrespected. I’m sick of being laughed at. I’m tired of being judged by passing birds. And most of all, I’ve had it up to here with being ignored by the cosmos. That all changes tomorrow. I’m going to show all those […]
These days, many women walk around playing with their phones or other devices like they’re people with lives and interests and hobbies and friends. Often they’re wearing headphones, presumably listening to Lilith Fair playlists on Spotify or podcasts about diva cups. This means they’re not interested in being talked to by men they don’t know, […]
Yesterday I was walking down Assiniboine Avenue here in Winnipeg, past the Legislative grounds, where often many Pokemon Go players gather. Indeed on a couple occasions, I, as a casual player, have hung out here as well. This time I was just passing through on my way home from the grocery store. In the short […]
Ahoy, mates! I welcome ye aboard the Swift Doom, the most notorious and feared galley on the Seven Seas. Yer all here because ye saw one o’ the want ads we posted all over the port, and in every ale house and brothel where a carousin’ scallywag can wet his whistle and whatever else he […]
So, you’re single. Big deal. Who cares? So what if all your couple friends talk about you when you’re not around in a concerned tone usually reserved for speaking about someone who just found out they have cancer. There’s no shame in being single. Be proud, you impossible-to-love loner weirdo. But just because you’re single […]
Dick pics are nothing new. Centuries ago men would make etchings of their members and nail them to the shutters of their intendeds’ windows. This trend evolved with the changing times. Daguerreotypes of dudes’ junk were sent by carrier pigeons throughout the mid-19th century. In the ’80s it wasn’t uncommon for a guy to hide […]
Stephen Harper once released two-hundred thousand snakes into the city of Moncton. I mean, they weren’t poisonous snakes, and most of them just died the following winter, and actually they did do a lot to get rid of a mouse problem that was affecting a substantial portion of the city’s restaurants, but that’s not the […]
Earlier this month, Cecil, a Zimbabwe national park’s beloved friendly lion, was killed in a gruesome fashion by what everyone assumed at first to be a Spaniard, presumably in a sexy crime of passion taken too far. But, it turns out it was an American dentist named Walter Palmer, because of course it was an […]
There’s no two ways about it, superhero movies are big money. And why wouldn’t they be? Think about it. They take pre-existing characters, already storyboarded, toss in a plot that has lots of explosions, add a few big-name actors, and there you go. People will pay their hard-earned money for this experience, regardless of quality. […]
I don’t know how to start, really. It’s funny, I have so many thoughts, so many things to tell you, so many questions I want to ask, then when it comes down to it I can’t think of a thing to say. I don’t know if you’ll even read this, if it’ll manage to find […]
For a lot of people, summertime means camping. I mean, I don’t really get it, voluntarily spending an entire weekend in the woods, with no access to online pornography and miles from the nearest friendly toilet. Frankly it all sounds a little too much like a Solzhenitsyn story to me. But, as the great shaman-prophet Sly […]
Day One Seven Samurai (1954) Seven hired samurai battle a group of bandits to save a farm village. Widely considered one of cinema’s greatest classics, this is Kurosawa at his most masterful. Plus, I ate a total of three turkey sandwiches during the film. With cheese. A Day Two Sanshiro Sugata (1943) Even in his first film, […]
Well, my boy. It’s hard to say exactly when it started. I suppose it was as early as twenty-thirteen or twenty-fourteen. ‘Course, it’s easy now to look back at everything that’s happened in all the years since then and say it was obvious what was going on. At the time, it was hardly nothin’. It […]
It’s difficult to recall how long I’ve been in this desert. Two nights, I think. A few days. The nights I’ve spent lying atop billions of grains of sand, looking up at the sky, my mouth dry and my stomach empty. The moon, Jian Ghomeshi’s smug, smiling face, peering down at me from a blanket […]
Twenty years is a long time. Especially in the video game industry, which in the last twenty years has seen a growth and shift in cultural perception virtually unimaginable back in 1994. In those days video games were still largely considered kids’ stuff, at least in North America. Parents’ views were that video games were […]
The first time I saw her, something changed in me. It was at breakfast, in a greasy little diner I frequented around that time. She walked in just as the waitress was setting down my classic eggs Benedict. A vision through the steam which rose from the moist surrender of the hash browns on my […]
