Alcohol is a weird thing. We like it because it loosens us up, tempers our inhibitions and makes it easier for us to deal with social situations that might be a little too overwhelming otherwise. We like that it makes us more fun. Or, at least, makes us think we’re more fun. Alcohol affects people […]

It’s summertime and summertime means a lot of things. Patios, splash pads, breaking into the zoo while high on mushrooms, watermelon. And one of my favourite activities of all: camping. Camping is the quintessential summer endeavour. Being outdoors, connecting with nature. Basking in whatever climate Mother Gaia decides to bend the environment into to suit […]

Breakups are tough. Whether you’re the breaker or the breakee, each comes with its own different set of hurdles to jump, and none of them are easy. But often they are necessary. To quote the glimmering Nordic poet-goddesses of ABBA, “Breaking up is never easy, I know, but I have to go.” The Swedes have […]

Drugs, man. They’re everywhere. Our society medicates itself with the passion and vehemence of Wilford Brimley betting on a cockfight. Or at least it would if it wasn’t so doped up on a cocktail of mellowing pills that passion is just a distant memory of an unwanted side-effect. We have sometimes seemingly arbitrary divisions in place […]

A lot of guys have a problem with menstruation. Which is silly, because it’s a naturally occurring function of the female body. Besides, it’s just a little bit of blood. And they’re not scared of a little bit of blood when they’re practically slitting each others’ throats the other twenty-six days of the month to […]

I’m going to Hell. At this point there’s no two ways about it, no changing my blasphemous ways, no making up for past transgressions, no last minute deathbed recantations. I’m a sinner, and that’s that. I’ve done some pretty heinous and sacrilegious things in my life, and I’ll be punished for them in the afterlife. […]

Who’s bright idea was this Daylight Savings Time thing anyway? What, we just lose a whole hour? It just disappears? Who has the authority, and the gall, to make this happen? The government? Dark wizards? Monsanto? So many unanswerable questions. Well, anyway, you’re no doubt, like me, reeling from the sudden vanishing of this sixty minutes […]

It’s a big night for the movies tonight. Oscar night. Hollywood’s glitziest night of schadenfreude back-pats and hollow masturbatory gestures. There were some great films released in the last year. After being pitted against each other in the trenches of the Dolby Theater to fight it out over naked, golden statuettes that can mean the […]