Dating sucks, like, 87% of the time for most people. You could be a blindingly attractive, tremendously intelligent, endlessly witty charmer with a let’s-save-Lassie heart and moves like Don Draper, but if the latest “catch” you reeled in off PlentyOfFish.com is flossing their teeth at the table in front of you or drenching your meticulously coiffed ‘do with torrential spittle as they wax on prosaically about “films” you’ve never heard of… sorry, still sucks.
Or, worse, if five perfect weeks down the line, your would-be lover decides to dump you after a break-through group therapy sesh. Yeah, that sucks way more. Unfortunately, these scenarios happen to everyone (except for high school sweethearts, but that comes with its own set of problems). The best thing you can do is sit back with some buddies, open up a few bottles of booze, and champion the art of turning painful moments into hilarious anecdotes. It’s what our generation is best at. Just look online.
People love exposing themselves on the Internet: enviable Instagrams of bacon-y grilled cheese sandwiches, tweets lambasting the latest political scandal (wait, some rich white Republican in Missouri said something predictably anatomically incorrect about how vaginas work and you disagree with him and also the state of American democracy? Damn that 140 character limit! People need to know!), Facebook Mommy status updates about toddlers starting soccer, blogs and blogs on blogs….. I could go on.
However, when you combine the sheer entertainment value of that really good dating story and our collective inclination to over-share, magic happens. Or maybe just the feeling of relief that the person you’re reading about isn’t you.
This week is all about dating blogs. As technology progresses, so do the preconceived notions and definitions accompanying sex and relationships. Dating blogs don’t just mimic a gaggle of girls around a wine-stained table bitching about men anymore (but that’s fun, too). They can offer insightful perspectives on polyamory, single-parent dating, long-distance relationships, and, y’know, simply confused strangers just trying to make something happen – or at least, get laid. Which in itself is kind of nice.
Sofi Papamarkos (National Post freelancer and all-around sexy typewriter) really covers all the single-girl bases, from horrible (and hilarious/insane/cringe-inspiring) dating profile photos to pics or not “leagues” exist (answer: not really), sliding into how women resent all of their past and future girlfriends (just try to argue this one). She’s the brassy dame you want to take out for margaritas and babble over your love life with, only to be told “Girl, have some goddamned self-respect and dump that loser”. And, girl, you will.
Speaking of redefining social constructs, women who enjoy sex? We’re just people now. Not promiscuous she-devils, not funbags of STIs or messed up nymphos, and certainly not sluts, because, hello, everybody enjoys sex. And sex is one of very many topics that is still taboo for most people, especially women, to write about.
This woman, Caitlin K. Roberts, uses her blog and Toronto sex-centric events like Crush Night and Body Pride, drawing in hundreds to rethink relationships and sexuality. Roberts doesn’t write about painful first dates (she’s engaged to be married), she instead shares intelligent thoughts about marriage, what it means to really pleasure oneself, and conscious sexual acceptance.
Because let’s face it – most of us are lost in that department. That’s why dating sites and dating blogs and “Dear Annie” exist. This blog answers any and all questions about dating with none of the tip-toeing politeness (aka bullshit) that accompanies discussions about feelings. People submit long-winded questions about new beaus or dating problems and Moxie, a 40-something public speaker offers her outside perspective, which is usually pretty spot-on, if not a touch bitter. But I guess that’s what happens when your biological clock has hit its alarm clock years ago and your career revolves around listening to peoples’ relationship problems.