Fake It Til Ya Make It

“Oooooh, yeah… ohhhhhh”

Is he almost finished?? I have to get up early tomorrow.

“Uh-huh, I’m almost there…”

If I’d have known it would take this long, I would have had a snack first. Maybe I should go to yoga before work? This certainly isn’t burning very many calories.

“C’mon baby, sooooo close, just a little more, ohhhh”

He’s still not done yet!? Alright, time to turn it up a notch. I’d like to catch The Daily Show before I pass out. Wow, I really need to paint my ceiling.   Or maybe just stick a poster up there.  

“Yes, yes, YESSSSS, oh God, oh God, ah, ahh,   ahhh, ahhhhhhhhh!!!”

Finally! Perhaps a mirror instead of a poster…

Regardless of whether we’ve put on a porn star worthy performance or just eked out an unwarranted “oh god,” most of us are guilty of faking an orgasm. Or, as one of my girlfriends recently put it, “playing along.”  And while sometimes it’s done with selfish intent and other times for the most selfless reasons, at the end of the day, faking it is still faking it, though it can lead to making it in the long run.

It’s damn near impossible to dig up any reliable statistics on faking orgasms. Some studies say about half of all women have faked it, while others put the number at about 70%. The numbers for men hover around 25%. Incidentally, the number of men who believe that a woman has faked an orgasm in the past with them is a mere 20%. So either we’ve got a lot of lusty ladies who lie or a slew of clueless men out there.

According to research conducted by Erin Cooper of Temple University, the most common conscious reason that a heterosexual woman fakes an orgasm is “altruistic deceit,” also known as not wanting to hurt their partner’s feelings.  This is a sentiment that anyone in any type of intimate relationship can understand.

However, what I find slightly more disconcerting is that many women fake it out of insecurity. They feel that something is wrong with them if they don’t climax, even though the vast majority of women find achieving orgasm solely through penile-vaginal stimulation quite difficult, if not impossible.   Personally, I’ve never been one to fake it because I don’t want the guy to think he’s doing something right when he isn’t.

There may be some light at the end of the tunnel though: turns out that faking an orgasm can lead to increased sexual satisfaction. Cooper found that these women that put it on for their own enjoyment reported heightened level of arousal, thereby increasing their ability to experience la petit mort.

Unsurprisingly, women are not the only ones who sometimes put on a show in the bedroom. Askmen.com even has an article entitled “How to Fake an Orgasm,” where sex education correspondent Sarah Stefanson instructs men not to over-do it and to trash the condom quickly afterwards.

Finally, sex isn’t all just about the orgasm either. It’s about the intimacy, the carnal sensations, the animal magnetism, and letting yourself be extremely vulnerable around someone else. The orgasm is really just the cherry and whipped cream on top.

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