There’s something about a perfectly-delivered one-liner that just makes life worth living, don’t you find? Lucky for us, the world-class comedians performing at this year’s edition of Just For Laughs have provided plenty. And lucky for you, we just so happened to write down a few of our favorites.
So, in honor of the final weekend of JFL, here’s a smattering of some of the Best of the Fest thus far.
“There’s a new trend of coming up on stage and physically attacking comics. I’ll beat yo ass. I just get bigger as you get closer. Don’t try that shit.”
– Alonzo Boden @ Just For The Culture
“You’ve turned on me. I make a joke and now you’re looking at me like I own a business and the French isn’t in big enough letters.”
– John Mulaney @ From Scratch
“Men will watch a superhero movie and identify with the hero. Every single man thinks he’s Batman. Crazy! No, you’re not Batman – you’re the mother f***er over there, asking for help!”
– Yamaneika Saunders @ The Nasty Show
“I went to fat camp as a kid. It was fun. We all went on our own bus.”
– Jessica Kirson @ Just For The Culture
“Invisalign? You’re ‘vis’. We all see it. When you talk, it sounds like you’ve had a stroke.”
– Dan Levy @ From Scratch
“’Morbidly obese’ is the ‘n word’ for fat people.”
– Robert Kelly @ The Nasty Show
“Doesn’t matter what country I’m in – EVERY SINGLE AUDIENCE joins in for the ‘ba ba ba’!”
– Randy Feltface on Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline”
“We have two dogs. The first is like a cross between a mop and a panic attack.”
– Tommy Tiernan @ Tomfoolery
“Learning to masturbate with a vibrator is like learning to butter toast with a chainsaw. It’s overkill. It’s not necessary.”
– Sophie Buddle @ The Nasty Show
“How many more times are we going to have to read an article about how they found a new cure for cancer that only works on rats? Can we all agree that does not belong in the human newspaper? Naw man – that’s rat news. That’s great for the rat community. Let them know. You can leave us out of that conversation.”
– Sheng Wang @ Just For The Culture
“Hockey is the only sport where it’s completely legal to assault a guy. You could break a guy’s jaw and they’re like ‘alright, go sit in that box and think about what you did for a few minutes.’ I know what I did. It was premeditated assault. I should be in prison for 5 to 7 years. Maybe 12 if I don’t speak French.”
– Yannis Pappas @ Just For The Culture
Just for Laughs runs until Sunday, July 31. For tickets and showtimes, please visit hahaha.com
