Once again, the best cure for complaining is poetry, so here’s four more original pieces to help you get through this Monday:
The Electric Pickle
It started out
In a science class
Once upon a time
Used to explain
Sodium lamps
With its brine
How would you like a taste
Of my electric pickle?
My voltage rises from it
When my juices trickle
We stuck a fork
Into either end
And connected up a wire
We placed it there,
On some kind of stand
And then watched with awe
How would you like to taste
My electrical pickle?
My voltage rises from it
When my juices trickle
The teacher with
“Don’t try this at home”
Plugged it into the wall
Saying it was
Without measured ohms
Then showed us all
How would you like to sample
My electric pickle?
My amperage rises from it
My ample juices trickle
First the pickle dripped
And then half of it lit up
With a warm amber glow
Then it sizzled a bit
Steam came up
Boy! Did it smell
How would you like a taste
Of my electric pickle?
My wattage rises from it
When my juices trickle
How would you like a taste
Of my electric pickle?
My voltage rises from it
So won’t you give it a tickle
I know you’d like a taste
Coffea Aribica
Come and meet me by the coffee tree
We’ll pick and eat it’s long cherries
Pick them, hull them, scrub them, roast them,
Remove the silver skin
Then mill and grind them in
Put the ground up beans into the filter
Then pour the boiling water through
Watch the hot brown liquid drip down
Stir in sugar and milk with a spoon
So meet me down by the coffee tree
The perkiest place in town
It’s down near Dakar, by the sea,
Where the wild things are…
…And where the coffee, grows wild.
High Glass Horse
You mock me, scoff at me
But try to hide it real well
But I see right through your high, glass horse
I can see through, real well
You rant and rave, behind my back
Spreading rumors, like disease
Just get right off of that high glass horse
Or you just might lose your keys
You’ve only hurt yourself
In trying to drum me out
So lose the ‘tude on your high glass horse
You really have no clout
I know that you are jealous of me
But I cannot figure for what
I wish to destroy your High glass horse
You know I’m feeling cut
Now, I realize, that on your wings,
There is only artifice
So get right off of your high glass horse
And try to picture this
You find me annoying, and ugly and dumb
But you’re the one who’s mum about it
You try to damage me, while sparing my feelings
But it hasn’t worked for thee
This ugly idiot sees
Though you can’t understand
I’ve tried to be friends, but you’re just a fiend
I no longer will bother you
And of your horse, you thought opaque
It’s perfectly transparent and clear
So dive right off of your high glass horse
For you now have me to fear
Yes, I’m armed, and completely insane
So much for your ‘physical superiority’s’ use
I’ll kick you down from your high glass horse
For your friendship was a ruse.
Tow Trucks
Tow Trucks
And wreckers,
Wait there
Ominously
Like vultures,
Waiting…
Waiting for a wreck,
Their carrion.
