Party poopers

What am I saying? I’m not sure even I agree with this one and I wrote it!

Disclaimer: The opinions and attitudes on this column do not necessarily reflect the attitudes, views, or opinions of Forget The Box or any of it’s members. — Including me.

Party poopers! Nerds! And other selfish-type people who get picked on and actually deserve it!

Party poopers beware: Laurence doesn't like you

Don’t you just despise a party pooper? Don’t you just wanna forcibly drown every single selfish rat who gets a sick, sadistic, selfish satisfaction from ruining it for others?

Or what about that annoying kid in grade two who kept reporting you and threatening to report you for so much as saying a bad word? Didn’t you just want to take your steel-toed boot to his ugly glasses (preferably with both still on- boot on you, glasses on him).

Don’t you just want to kill the nerd who complains very selfishly of noise while you’re trying to party or jam at 3 AM on a weeknight? Ok, maybe I’m getting carried away there, but I recently read a letter to the editor by some freak who wants MORE police traps on the off-ramp!?!?

Even the cops know that it’s a very dangerous and horrible idea. Stop someone in an exit, causing a large pileup, causing much property damage, causing injuries and deaths including possibly the deaths or injuries of the police officers themselves simply for not being at a safe distance?

Tremblay’s too rich for my britches already for me to accept any kind of a fine, so to this party pooper, here’s an idea, why don’t YOU pay for it instead of me? I’m sick and tired of being bullied, and I will NOT be bullied by the king of the nerds!

I’ll kick those geeky, ugly glasses right off of your retarded-looking, Asperger-ridden face (I wear steel-toed boots)! I’ll stomp on them and grind them into the ground until they break or at least get scratched! I ought to run you through with your own elvish sword. Idiot! ELVES DON’T EXIST! THEY NEVER DID!

Now that I have your attention, who wants to go for a soda?

I know, relax, calm yourself down, you’re frothing at the keyboard.
-Um, this is a rant column, I’m supposed to do that.

Kill every ADD addled AD&D geek out there!


this does not make sense.

You cannot disagree with this statement: You cannot disagree with this statement.

I disagree with the aforementioned statement.

Now what?
I hate philosophy right now!
Keep the people dumb and sheeplike, that way we can control them more easily.
No, the crazy guy will NOT try to take over the universe.
I ALREADY DID! but nobody noticed.

Yngwie J Malmsteen plays too many notes. As far as I know he is not related to Bruce Springsteen, despite both of them being guitarists whose names end in “Steen.”

Remember when the year 2000 was in the distant future?

(I’m not wearing any pants right now!)

P.S. Sesame seed street has been brought to you today by the letters 0, and 9, and by the number Q!

DAY-O! Me say Day, Me say Day, Me say Day-ay-ay-o. Daylight come an’ me wan go home!

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