Pauline Marois sex tape shocker

The minority PQ government is in full damage control mode this morning after a sex tape staring none other than premier Pauline Marois was leaked on the internet late last night. While Marois herself could not be reached for comment, Jean-François Lisée, minister of international relations, addressed the issue in an early morning press conference at the National Assembly.

“We find it imperative to confront this head-on. Premier Marois is deeply embarassed about the video” Lisée admitted, then, in what can only be described as a flailing attempt at spin, he went on: “while we are shocked that such a personal moment has been released to the public, the important thing for all Quebecers to remember is that, throughout the course of the video, the premier is on message and on track for a yes victory in the next referendum, saying ‘oui, oui, oui’ whenever she could.”

While most of the 25 minute video is considered rather conventional by pornographic standards, there is a section near the end that is raising some eyebrows.

“It’s all your basic Paris Hilton stuff at first,” says Quebec Adult Film Commission chairman Real Dumont, “but then Mme Marois puts on a strapon and starts double-teaming someone wearing a giant panda costume with (now Quebec Liberal leader Phillippe) Couillard. That’s not something you see every day in the industry, especially when you’re talking about celebrity vids.”

The choice of a panda has some thinking the furry companion was supposed to represent the much loved and frequently arrested Anarchopanda of Maple Spring fame. When one journalist questioned Lisée about whether or not Marois was living out a fantasty of what she wanted to do to student protesters by sodomizing someone wearing a panda costume, the Minister was quick to respond:

“Absolutely not. Stephen Harper loves pandas, maybe it’s a statement about federalism,” an increasingly irritated Lisée replied. “Think about it, while taking it up the ass from the PQ the panda is clearly blowing Couillard, an avowed federalist.”

François Legault was quick to deny any invovlement in the video. However, the CAQ leader didn’t rule out the possibility of releasing his own sex tape before the next election, assuring reporters that it would be tasteful and “hotter than you think.”

Despite maintaining a public attitude of indifference, we have received reports that the government is trying to have the video removed. The Office Québécois de la Langue Française is already looking it over and paying particular attention to the bottle of oil Couillard squirts on the premier’s bare chest at roughly the five minute mark.

If the French writing on the label is not significantly larger than the English, the vid could disappear altogether. If you want to see it before it’s gone, you can here, but be warned, it’s NSFW and definitely not something we want to embed on this site.

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