Revenge of the Word

Hello. My name is Laurence and I just tried to write a rant for “Laurence Rants,” using Microsoft word. The program was not responsive in a correct way and not everything I typed appeared on the screen. At one point, I would type one thing and something else altogether would pop up onto the screen, like a date popping up instead of the word I had just typed. When I finished my document, Word refused to let me save it, stating that the disk was full or write protected. The disk was neither full nor write protected, Microsoft Word was just “Acting Crazy.”

I don’t understand why the engineers at Microsoft have to make sure that one of their main applications is difficult to use for reasons unknowable. It seems that billionaire Bill Gates is not simply satisfied with screwing over everyone in his path who opposes him in any way, but he has to hurt his supporters as well. Unfortunately, there is no real alternative to Microsoft word. If there was, Bill Gates and Microsoft would crush it.

I remember back in the day, when I used to use WordPerfect, or TextEdit, or XYWrite, or Smith-Corona or even Macwrite!   ALL of these were better and more reliable than Microsoft Word. Bill Gates and company deserve to all be shot in the ass, tortured Guantanamo bay style, and then shot again. I understand this is the revenge of the Nerds and all, but DAMN! Now I understand why bullies would knock off their glasses and break them. These people deserve to have someone use their glasses to cut out their eyes!!!

I know. Calm down. Killing the bully is not the answer. Neither is killing the victim of the bully.

Bill Gates has too much money for his own good, living it up out in California or wherever. At the same time people everywhere are starving and suffering with very low wages or unemployment because of greedy CEO’s like him. Of course, I’m sure that the slaves used in China are grateful to have the work that belongs to the North American worker. On top of that, many of the products produced by most of the factories both in China and abroad are absolutely garbage!

It reminds me of another great American “Hero,” Al Sloan Jr. who invented “Planned Obsolescence,” where they would try to figure out how to screw the consumer on the quality of an item just enough that they would need to replace it sooner, but not so soon that they would say it was no good and run to the nearest competitor offering a better quality product. In fact, this concept of planned obsolescence spanned every industry, creating billionaire CEO’s and hurting ordinary citizens alike. It’s only called Capitalism because in order to get anywhere, you need the capital. Otherwise you’re just a consumer and a wage slave.

This reminds me of a poem by Dr. Seuss, along with a corresponding cartoon, called “The Lorax.” In it, there are two main characters. The Once-ler and The Lorax. The Once-ler is a big greedy corporate-type CEO, who invents something called a thneed. In order to make the thneed, he needs raw materials which he obtains by destroying the landscape. His only interest is profit, at any and all cost. The Once-ler was not the hero. He was the villain. The Lorax was the hero, but he left. At least is seemed that he had somewhere to go.