Hungry for love and BACON! Yes, awe yea that’s the spot. Put it in my mouth. Crispy crunchy glistening hot meat candy. Talk dirty to me, baby. Savor the sweet richness of chocolate volcano cake, seductively lick and coax the jelly out of the puffy powdered donut, caress the soft fuzzy peach with your lips, suck the raw oyster from its shell, blow the gooey cheesy pizza, bask in the loveliness of a ripe red strawberry, slurp that steaming soup, put your lips around that plump spicy sausage, enjoy those buns, let the juices from that orange dribble down your fingers, tear up every savory morsel of that perfectly cooked strip steak, pop the cherry, and give out a rapturous moan with every artful bite of sushi. Is your stomach growling with antici…..pation?

cat foodSploshing is a full body food fetish also called a WAM (wet and messy) fetish. A participant will be smashed with cream pies or mashed potatoes, covered in chocolate sauce, sit on messy desserts, eat while having sex, and use the food to initiate arousal. There are parties where women are the platter and they are covered in sushi, each bite revealing the real main dish.

Another group of food fetishists are called feeders. Often large BBW (big beautiful women) will eat for an audience or camera. People will pay big money to watch a powerful woman eat a cheeseburger or feed another woman some grapes.

Personally I have used both sploshing and feeding in my burlesque performance. I have dressed up like a pig cop and had girls smash donuts on me while a punk band played. I have eaten sushi to Oh baby I Like it Raw. I have pulled cheeseburgers out of my panties and showered crowds with freedom fries.

My favorite moment with food and performance would have to be my ode to Gluttony in a seven deadly sins show, where I had naughty housewives smash cupcakes on me dressed as Marie Antoinette:

Much of my art also revolves around food. For my senior thesis in college, called Pasties and Pastries, I did large paintings involving sex and cupcakes. I actually baked my weight in cupcakes (267 at the time) and fed them to the party.

I think that cupcakes represent the kind of woman I present myself as. A 50s housewife wearing nothing more than an apron and a finger full of frosting. Lick the spoon. Cupcakes and women are beautiful, decorative, fluffy, sweet, delicate, creamy, and pure art.

Taste, texture, and temperature: food stimulates all of the senses and fills our natural needs and desires. Phallic foods or any foods that look visually erotic are obvious choices. Raw oysters look like genitalia and are high in zinc, which increases testosterone and sperm. They also contain dopamine. Champagne and chocolate are both proven aphrodisiacs. Popping a bottle of bubbly is sure to make your night a little naughty. Dip those strawberries in dark, rich chocolate and feed each other. Eggs increase a man’s libido. A piece of sizzling steak on the grill, it’s juices and smells are like sex you can eat. Watermelon and peaches both contain libido enhancers and also just look sexy and messy while devouring.

Maybe I’m just a fat kid with an oral fixation, but food totally turns me on. Scrumptious and sumptuous deliciousness get in my mouth now, k thanks. My favorite moments in life revolve around the kitchen and not the bedroom. Cooking with friends, serving the needy (Food Not Bombs for life), or even baking Christmas cookies with Mom is amazing, but nothing like cooking with a lover.

There is nothing sexier than a meal made with love and passion. A good cook can provide more than orgasms. They say the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach, do you agree?