Cuddle puddle therapy? Consensual touch is nurturing and necessary to a happy life. Just as babies need to be held to survive so do adults. Fight loneliness and find a bed buddy. It doesn’t have to be sexual. It’s medically proven that sleeping next to someone lowers your blood pressure, strengthens your heart, and emotional health. Besides lovers, I have a few special friends that I share my bed with.

I find comfort sleeping in the same room with others. Like a pack of sleeping wolves, a den of hibernating bears, or even the snuggle pile in the “Where the wild things are” movie.

It’s wonderful to know you are safe and warm with people and creatures you love. Dogs and cats are the best snugglers. They need our warmth and affection. I fall asleep every night with 6 purring cats. Three are mine and the others belong to my roommates, but all of them call my bed home at night.

The bed practically vibrates like a cheap coin operated heart shaped motel bed. My little Lola sleeps right on my neck every night. I love them so much, we are a family. It’s just the best.

Slumber parties with 20 little giggling boy crazy mean girls in a family living room remind me of this type of pack sleeping as well. I’ll never forget the terrifying bathroom games of Bloody Mary, sappy chick flick teen movies, I learned who the Spice Girls were at Sheri Tudor’s slumber party in 4th grade.

That shit was life altering. Being scared to sleep at a different house. Falling asleep meant certain underwear freezing or getting your hand in warm water. Now if you get drunk and pass out first you will get big veiny dicks drawn on your face and possibly your whole body.

I love other people’s snoring. Hearing the one you love fart in his sleep is also so beautiful. Sleeping with someone is being 100% vulnerable. You have no control over what your body does when it is in resting state. Night terrors, sweating, drool puddles, thrashing, blanket hogging, explosive farting, wet dreams, and snoring symphonies are all possibilities in any given night. Watching someone sleep isn’t as creepy as it sounds, it’s beautiful serenity.

I just slept in a small cabin while camping with my parents. Sleeping in the same room with those two sawing wood all night. It brought me back to a childhood innocence and safety. I remember being very little and crawling in bed with my parents and the family dog, a 120 pound lovable redbone coon hound named Sampson. That queen sized bed was full of love. I wasn’t scared of bumps in the night then.


The Great Blue Heron music festival in Sherman NY is a great place to cuddle in tents and meet new friends. Waking up in a tent with someone is magical. I had the honor of hanging out at the Skilletnation campsite: a group of musicians turned into entanglement of beautiful hippies in a series of hammocks hung on top of each other.

The air wafting in the funk of that last day of the festival. Dirty feet and fingernails. One heartbeat. All sharing an apparent and genuine love for one another. At one point I was sitting in a chair next to the mass and felt like the attendant at a McDonald’s ball pit, except I was handing up packed bowls of weed, flasks full of whiskey, and musical instruments up the web of hammocks.

People pay cuddlers. I’ve seen ads on Craigslist. Cuddle clubs and cuddle parties exist. Internet cuddle buddy sites are popping up. Cuddle parties have a trained leader that helps facilitate the cuddle party with ice breaker games and non sexual massaging. These parties create an atmosphere of mutual respect and teach the importance of boundaries and consent.

It feels so good to hold and be held. To entangle your legs with another. Sexual or not it’s important to feel safe and secure. To fall asleep to the sound of breathing and another heartbeat. Knowing that if you needed them they are right there, safe in your arms. Embrace one another and open yourself up to a happier existence. Sweet dreams.

Featured image from Gabi Gauer.