So how did you spend the last daze of summer and the first touch of Autumn crispiness? It’s almost sweater weather, Halloween stuff is in the stores, and people are ready to bunker down and love the one they are with.

While it would have been fantastically magical to dance naked around a bonfire with a bunch of Pagans and howl at the moon, I did something a little different this year.

The last day of summer I spent cruising in my Dad’s boat, which makes me feel like a dog with his head sticking out the window. I always want to yell “I’m the king of the world!” The wind rushing through my hair and the sun kissing my flesh is absolute exhilaration. Drinking some cold beers and enjoying life on a boat bitch. The best way to end the summer. Ever.

cat and dad

Now to bring in the fall. First of all I woke up and was made aware that it was Bisexual Visibility Day. I never know where I fall in the sexuality spectrum, I’m probably more pansexual than bisexual to be honest, it’s all so fluid and ever changing.

I remember being in the university LGBTA and the “B” was always scrutinized and torn down. As though liking both sexes was somehow unacceptable. Choose one, don’t be a greedy slut.

I always thought it was strange how much of a disconnect there was between each letter. The Bs and the Ts definitely have a much different experience than the Ls and Gs. But enough on that for now, that can be its own blog.

So then I triked to work and after went on a short road trip to Rochester to see the incredible band Alt J. Hands down my current favorite Pandora station, I even own most of their stuff on vinyl. The whole ride down we listened to Crazy Sexy Cool by TLC.

I picked up the CD for only $1 the day before at a thrift store. This album was my first cassette tape that I picked out myself in 1995. I was 9. These songs are much more provocative than a 9 year old should be into, but I turned out alright.

The song Waterfalls was my all time favorite. It has so much more real meaning to me now that I am an adult and I have people in my life that live with a positive HIV status.

Things have changed so much in the 20 years since this album came out. Left Eye is now hanging with Biggie and Tupac in the sky. I remember taping TLC videos and clips off of MTV. I accidentally taped over my first communion. My mom was pissed! I’d love to watch that shit now. It would be super funny projected during a punk show.

On to Alt J. Fuck yes! So incredible! It was almost a religious experience, very hipster Beatles with pretty ambiance. Felt almost like the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind, suuuper eerie. Worth every penny of the $39.50 plus fees (when did concerts get so expensive?).

The lights were trippy, I had almost wished I was on drugs but didn’t feel like being utterly irresponsible. The crowd was interesting. Lots of extremely tall guys with extremely short girlfriends. There was one couple in front of me and the guy got on his friggen knees and was as tall as her.

Alt J Alt J 2

It was pretty adorable actually. I photo bombed their Instagram selfies. I wonder how many unrealized photo bombs I was in last night? It was a sea of phone cameras trying to capture the moment.

All I saw for a while was a giant beefy bro douche spilling his tiny cup of Labatt Blue Light all over the damn place or the old guy doing some sort of drunken interpretive sign language dance to each song. Put your freakishly long arms down sir!

security guardSecurity was in full force. One puff and out. The smoke didn’t even get a chance to rise from their lips. Busted people for weed instantly. Not worth it.

People must have had joints up their asses because every pocket of my fanny pack was ransacked. There was a constant caterpillar of glowing security shirts weaving through the crowd accusingly flashing us all in the face with way too bright flashlights.

One woman looked like the sassy black lady cop on Reno 911! She was all fun and games when checking my ID earlier and then total game face bull dog as soon as the lights were out. They ran a tight ship. This is why we can’t have nice things.

All and all I had a great time. Felt like the worlds youngest old lady when I wanted to drive home after the show though.

I was feeling slightly bummed. Tis the season for cuddly wonderfulness and Netflix. Everyone seems to couple off and I’m still wishing for You specifically at 11:11, pulling pop can tabs, asking the magic 8 ball and tarot cards over and over again, and getting “he loves me not” with each daisy petal.

I ended up raging on, getting slightly brown out drunk, and feeling pretty darn irresistible. I wrote the majority of this blog in my car while smoking a corn cob pipe outside of the bar.

Happily ended my first day of fall having a platonic slumber party with a beautiful man I’ve known since Myspace. We watched these really awful/wonderful videos of porn bloopers. The worst. 🙂

Summer, go home, you are drunk. Bye Felicia. I’m ready for the fall of summer sadness into the autumn of beauty and possibility. Great music, killer adventures, and cute humans. Life is great.

The summer is coming to an end but that’s no reason to let the seasonal effect disorder kick in just yet. Live life spontaneously, don’t give a fuck what people think, and have all the fun. Today is what you make of it. With very little effort you can be an extremely happy human. I woke up smiling today and you can to!

Here are some tips:

1. Say Yes to Naked Mac and Cheese!

mac and cheeseNever accept that you can’t get what you want and settle for less, just make it yourself. My roommate and a friend, Max and Seth, went to a bar that will remain unnamed to get mac and cheese at 2:30 am post show. After making Max put on a shirt (he was only wearing a fur cape) and probably looking at me twice because I was in full cat makeup, we get in.

We order water and get unnecessary menus. One thing in mind, we all know exactly what we have want. The conquest is almost complete. Guess what? Mac and cheese was no longer on the menu, I imagine because it was the cheapest thing on the menu and didn’t include “truffle oil.” Bummer.

So whatever, tipped the hot bartender a dollar, and was like “Boys, we are going to Wegmans!” If you love people cook them tasty food… I’ve seen this on a bumper sticker and love it.

By 3am we were balls deep in deliciousness. Our homemade mac and cheese was fucking immaculate cheese! We got the most kinds of cheeses, the best kind of pasta, and the secret ingredient is that Max cooked it butt ass naked.

I like to be naked as much as possible and don’t trust people who don’t like nudity. You have got to be comfortable in your own skin and not judge those who are.

2. Strap on a Fanny Pack

fanny pack catFanny packs are considered by some a serious fashion faux pas. Popular with the bingo crowd and dads at Disney World. I have proudly been wearing my camouflage fanny pack since Buffalo Pride and couldn’t be happier.

I get more compliments on this thing than I would any designer handbag. It’s everyone too, from young beautiful hipsters to grandmas. Wearing it seems like the most functional and rebellious thing I have ever done, and I’ve done some shit.

I had a friend who talked so much shit about fanny packs. She made fun of my other friend’s Winnie the Pooh fanny pack (I mean come on, how funny is it to say “I have Pooh on my fanny”?). Then one day the fanny pack hater’s new boyfriend came over and guess what he was wearing?! Yup, a fanny pack!

3. Take Time for Last Minute Road Trips

It feels so good to be in another city where nobody knows you for a night. You open your world up to new experiences when you travel.

I went to Cleveland the other day to see my friends’ band play and it was incredible. It happened to be at the coolest punk bar I have never heard of. Fantastic beer selection, a skate ramp in the back, and a whole bunch of sexy humans I never would have met otherwise. Life is about new things and if you don’t leave your home town you will never find true bliss.

4. Oh Baby I Like it Raw!


Get sushi with your bros. I often bond over meals, and sushi is one of those things that makes life a little more beautiful. I got called in late to work yesterday and was excited to make the most of my day. I instantly made plans with one of my best friends to get sushi. We ate like fucking queens.

A Couple More Tips for Life Success:

Volunteer: It makes you feel better and more connected to the world around you! Small gestures of love can change the world. The little things in life like sharing your leftovers, complimenting a stranger or acknowledging someone’s birthday make all the difference.

Bike to Work: Today might be the last day of summer. Going to a festival and it rains out? Go anyways and dress appropriately, and if that means a Batman mask and rain poncho do it. Make the most of moments and act now because time is running out.

Don’t Waste Your Life: There is more time then you think. Do things for you. Buy the bag of weed, get that extra side of feta. Yeah you need two new pairs of sunglasses from the Chinese dollar store. Take time to smell the roses, get high, pet your cats, and hug your parents. You fucking deserve it. Smile. You are beautiful and today is positive.