Its so easy to get stressed out when fighting with and/or god forbid in the process breaking up with your partner. You both think you are right. They said things they will probably regret later, calling you all the names in the book, and now accept no fucking blame for this whole thing. You look them in their stupid dumb ridiculous goofy beautiful fucking face and just want to smash it into oblivion.
In that moment it is hard to imagine how much you actually still love them because you are blinded by the rage of right now. It burns bright.
Please take a moment to ponder not killing them, step back. Be the stronger person and hold back your fierce rage fueled fury.
Although it seems like a not so gentle punch to the gut, a stinging slap in the face, or swift kick in the nuts would cause you instant satisfaction, you probably should take a step back and remember that you are both adults here. It is so healthy to express your emotions, even if it is uncomfortable, but do it with words and not fists. Violence is not the answer!
1. Breathe
Its always best to step back and breathe. Oxygen makes our brains work. Even chug a glass of water.
Make sure all of your things are lubed and ready to be wise. Get your body calm and relaxed.
Tension isn’t healthily for anyone. Stepping back and focusing on the in and out of your lungs will make you feel so much better.
2. Smoke a joint
After you take some deep breaths, breathe something else in. The best thing I can do to chill the fuck out is to smoke a little bit of sweet maryjane.
If this isn’t your cup of tea, well then have a cup of tea? I don’t know what to tell you, but weed is the number one killer of shitty feelings and bad arguments.
I feel 100% better about every situation when I light up. It’s like all my troubles melt away for that short second.
Offer the person you are fighting with a puff. Perhaps you will reach a resolution over this thoughtful peace pipe offering. You will both be more calm and collected.
3. Scream as loud as you can into the abyss
I once had a co-worker who would go into the back room and yell at the top of her lungs like she was on a roller coaster when a customer pissed her off. It is the best way to blow off steam.
Scream into the cave of infinity. It will feel like a thousand orgasms, releasing all the negativity into the world instead of yelling at a person. Primal scream therapy is real.
4. Eat dark chocolate
It is proven that chocolate triggers the same things in your brain as sex. Dark chocolate is really good for you, especially if it’s the vegan kind.
It is antioxidant rich and actually lowers your blood pressure. Also I read that you get higher if you eat it 40 minutes before you smoke weed, so maybe try this step before step #2.
5. Masturbate
Hate sex is one thing, but hate jerking off is a horse of a different color! Nothing is more stress releasing than diddling your own skittle.
Nobody knows what you want or need more than you baby! Everyone needs the good touch, especially when angry or emotional. Get that vibrator out and tell the world you are your own lover.
Masturbating is healthy and helps you with sexual discovery. Think about the random person in your sexy dream or that Greek god that you saw at the grocery store. Your hand or dildo is all you need to be happy. Independent bliss.
Other things I can think of are going to the beach or wherever your happy place is. Being in nature is so calming and grounding. It makes us remember how small we are.
Listen to music, the louder the better, and dance your ass off. Exercise, yoga, and cleaning are also positive ways to blow off negative energy.
Use the energy for good instead of evil. If distraction is your game then look at boobs on the internet, there are an endless supply.
I also like to write. Writing angry poetry is a great way to get over someone. Look up new adjectives to dislike them with.
Fuck that asshole and focus on the positive! Self love and care is what you need. Take time to think about how good the sun feels beating on your skin or how good it tastes to bite into a juicy tangerine.
Take a bath or get a massage. Think about the feeling you get right after a new hair cut or when you get a really good hug from someone.
Hold your head high and let your mind be free. Now that you are cool and collected you can turn the argument into a conversation, and if you get mad again, go back to #1 and start over.
* Featured Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis via Flickr Creative Commons
