Panelists Jerry Gabriel, Cem Ertekin and Drew Bell discuss Just for Laughs and the concept of comedy, a week that could define Barack Obama’s presidency and what it means to be Canadian. Plus the Community Calendar and an interview with Gilbert Gottfried

Host: Jason C. McLean
Producer: Hannah Besseau



Cem Ertekin: FTB news editor

Jerry Gabriel: FTB contributor

Drew Bell: FTB contributor

Gilbert Gottfried interview by Jerry Gabriel (FULL INTERVIEW AVAILABLE)

FTB PODCAST #7: Gilbert Gottfried, Obama, and O Canada by Forget The Box on Mixcloud

Host: Jason C. McLean
Producer Hannah Besseau

Microphone image: Ernest Duffoo / Flickr Creative Commons

There are some things in life that we have absolutely no say in. Attraction is one of these things. That instant electricity, your future life with this person flashes before your eyes, a wave of unconscious lust takes over, and suddenly every love song reminds you of them.

Love is madness! You want to push them against a wall and kiss their face, run your fingers through their hair, hold them tight to your quivering body, and tell them that any insecurity is moot because they are perfect in your eyes.

You are that 13-year-old girl who has her room plastered in Jonathan Taylor Thomas posters and he is standing right in front of you. However, nothing comes out, fear and inertia sets in, you are paralyzed, and become a completely useless human puddle of dumb.

No matter how hard you want to confess your true feelings, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. You then get friend-zoned. You are privileged to stories about their current fling. You think to yourself “Why would he ever chose that obnoxious girl with the stupid bangs and IQ of a potato over me?” Well, maybe because she wasn’t a pussy like you and asked.

Imagine being in their wedding, the feeling of utter despair when you walk down someone else’s aisle toward a man that once occupied your dreams. Sounds like the plot of a terrible romantic comedy. Often a great friendship is more important and long lasting than a passionate romance anyway.

It’s the New Year, social media really sticks it to those of us who are single this holiday season. Did you get your magical midnight kiss? I sure didn’t. Now more then ever I notice all of the engagement and pregnancy announcements, happy people doing happy things. Barf.

I once dated a boy for several years and had to end it, crushing him. I am not relationship material, as soon as I am “in a relationship” (in the Facebook official sense) I feel trapped. He wanted 2.5 children, a house in the suburbs, white picket fence, mini van with the little stick figure family on the back, and a dog.

He married the next girl that he dated. I do not ever need to get married, however it would be kind of nice to know that someone would want to marry lil’ ol’ me.

I will never ever understand why same sex marriage has ever been debated (much like when bi-racial marriage was still illegal). Love is love god damnit! Who people love and fuck is their own business, as long as it is between consenting adults.

Nobody has the right to censor your soul and tell you that your biological attraction to another human is wrong. These folks are just so caught up in their own righteous morality that they miss the entire point. Every love is as unique as the person who is doing the loving, no situation is ever the same, no rules apply to emotion, passion is blind, and there is no cookie cutter for a perfect life.

Can you imagine being with the same person for the rest of your life? That idea is so weighted. In sickness and health, to know that another person wants you to be in their life, to nurture and grow with them, and start a family.

I couldn’t imagine having children, that concept blows my mind! I am 100% in love with my cats, my free spirited lifestyle, and total insanity.

I am a feminist who doesn’t need anyone to complete me. Great job or great person, incredible in bed or an incredible artist, fantastic cook or fantastic at cuddling: if there was a checklist of what I need in a mate I am sure that it would be impossible to check them all.

Monogamy? I am an ethical slut that often ponders the idea of being polyamorous (someone in multiple romantic relationships), not saying I want to 20 sister wives (that’s polygamy), but many people grab my interest.

What would my mother think? We are programmed to want only one person. Promiscuity heightens your chances of contracting STDs and heartbreak.

Yet, the human soul has a great capacity for love. A multiple party or open relationship where everyone is safe, honest, consensual, open, and on the same page is beautiful. It is again another facet of possibility that should not be ruled out because societal standards say its taboo. Always be true to yourself and do what makes you happy!

As usual, sex was a popular topic in the news this year. From changes in laws across the globe to favor same-sex marriage and the safety of sex workers to watching a young woman swing naked on a wrecking ball, it was impossible to escape the controversial and polarizing nature of sex in our culture.

Global Spread of Marriage Equality

One of the biggest stories of the year was the continuing spread of legal same-sex marriage. According to the New York Times, the global population with access to marriage equality doubled in 2013, which was largely due to progress in North and South America. Eight more of the United States passed laws on marriage equality which are now recognized by the Federal Government thanks to a Supreme Court decision this summer, while Uruguay and Brazil voted to legalize same-sex marriage earlier this year.

France became the largest European country to do so as well, and New Zealand brought same-sex marriage to the Southern Hemisphere. This brings the total global population with access to equalize marriage rights to approximately 585 million, which sounds pretty high until you realize it still only represents about 8% of people across the entire world. Here’s to hoping we double or even triple that number in the coming year.

Challenging Canada’s Prostitution Laws

Another of 2013’s biggest stories came just one week before the end the year when the Supreme Court of Canada voted unanimously to strike down three of Canada’s current laws pertaining to prostitution. While it is not currently a crime in Canada to sell sex for money, there are laws prohibiting living on the profits of prostitution, communicating in public with clients, and using a private residence such as a brothel for the location of the act.

These three laws were challenged by three women with experience in the sex trade, Terri-Jean Bedford, Amy Lebovitch and Valerie Scott. They argued that the current laws prevented them from safely conducting their business, which violates certain rights and freedoms set down in the Charter. While the Ontario Court of Appeal later upheld the law about communicating about prostitution in public, they sided with the Supreme Court regarding the other two laws, agreeing that they were too broad.

The Supreme Court gave Parliament a deadline of one year to create new laws, if they so desire. It will be interesting to see how far they go in protecting the safety of sex workers, a story that I will continue to cover in the coming year.

Miley Cyrus Twerks Her Way into the Spotlight

mileyMuch has already been written this year about the raunchification of Miley Cyrus and her “all grown up” behavior shift from squeaky clean tween idol to lewd tongue-wagging twerker. One of her most memorable moments of the year came when she teamed forces with one of this year’s other prime provocateurs, Robin Thicke, singer of ‘Blurred Lines’ aka that disgustingly ubiquitous song you hope you never have to hear again.

Their little performance on the MTV Video Awards definitely earns top billing for most controversial dirty dance moves, as Miley stripped down to a barely there nude bikini and violated that poor foam finger, causing a media storm in only the way our little Wrecking Ball can.  Will she find newer, more disgusting ways to shock us in 2014? Only time will tell…

No One Wants to Envision Rob Ford Getting Enough to Eat

rob_fordFinally, I’ll close with the little oral sex story that could, and in fact did, make its way around the world’s gossip columns and nightly news satire shows. Toronto’s bumbling mayor extraordinaire Rob Ford made a lot of strange comments that were scrutinized by media outlets everywhere, none as shocking as his response to allegations that he was sleeping with one of his female staffers. Ford said to a room full of reporters that he never wanted to eat her pussy, since he was happily married and “got enough to eat at home.”

I guess ultimately I should feel happy for Mrs. Ford, if indeed these are the arrangements of their sex life, since every woman should get enough at home, but the shock value of his candor mixed with the mental picture of Rob Ford doing anything in the bedroom was enough to make me shudder. The main question on everyone’s minds is how much lower can he fall in 2014?