montreal Burlesque

CultureSexThe Morning After

For about a year now, I’ve been extolling the free-spirited liberation and ridiculous heaps of fun I have performing our contemporary take on burlesque with the troupe Glam Gam Productions. Many of you out there might be thinking, hey that sounds like something I’d like to try, but I haven’t the faintest idea how to get involved.

Maybe you haven’t been on stage since appearing as Anita in a high school production of West Side Story the better part of a decade ago. Or perhaps you’d be popping your stage cherry, gracing the worn floorboards and facing a live audience for the very first time. You’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist, now it’s time to explore. Then again, you could always lend a hand with props or costumes and watch the actors sweat down to their skivvies on stage.

If you are any of the above, Glam Gam Productions has an opportunity for you! We’re putting on a 24-hour Christmas-themed play, and we’re looking for actors, singers, dancers, theatre geeks, circus freaks, burlesque performers, musicians, artists, set builders, costume wizards you name it. We want you!

Let’s clear one thing up first: it’s not a play that’s 24 hours long. We do like dancing and taking our clothes off, but even we need to sleep sometimes. Rather, it’s a production that is selected from three contenders, cast, rehearsed and staged, all in 24 short hours. It will require heaps of collaboration and boundless courage along with (realistically) a Christmas miracle.

But telling a Christmas story can’t be that hard, right? We’ve whittled it down to three famed tales that were particularly memorable from our formative years and given them a healthy dose of sugar, spice and all things naughty and nice. Our choices are How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Christmas Carol, and Frosty the Snowman.

We’ve broken the roles down to three categories: Luscious Lead (*may require full or partial nudity), Scantilly Clad Chorus, or a Camel Toe Cameo. Our call is open to professionals and amateurs alike, all roles are up for grabs. Be forewarned though: you could have to sing, you might dare to dance, but above all else, you must be prepared to be ridiculous.

And as completely insane as it sounds, ready or not the curtains will draw 24 hours later at 10pm on Saturday December 10th and a play will be performed. For more information or to fill out a registration form, visit Glamgam.com. Or go there anyways, there’s lots of sexy pictures of past shows.

Finally, please cum and check out the show next Saturday, December 10th at Cafe Cleopatre (1230 St. Laurent). Doors open at 9 and the show starts at 10 sharp. The cost is $12, or $10 with a non-perishable food item for Head & Hands. Will we succeed in pulling off this seemingly insane undertaking? Or will we fall flat on our naked butts??   Either way, it’s entertainment!

Arts & TheatricsSex

On September 25, 2010, I celebrated my first Saturday night back in Montreal by going to the Belmont club and checking out The Blood Ballet Cabaret. While I’ve seen burlesque numbers performed at Indyish messes, this was the first time I’d ever checked out a full fledged burlesque show. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew that with my Forget the Box colleague Chris Zacchia being involved it would be some naughty fun.

With a name like the Blood Ballet Cabaret, it’s not hard to deduce that the theme of this troupe is combining horror and sex. While the quality of the skits, some of the technical aspects and stand up routines may have been varied throughout the show, one must remember that it’s only the Troupe’s third show performing together. The first skit, a True Blood parody, was weak, but they more than made up for it with a hilarious Frankenstein inspired skit about a out of control drunken robot.

One of course doesn’t come to a burlesque show just to watch stand up or comedy skits. The real star of  a burlesque show is the  dancers, those brave  girls who strip down to their undies and pasties or in one case nothing on top at all! Being a heterosexual woman I watched these numbers, mostly performed by the dancer Miss Bloody Mary-Anne, wondering where I could score the cute lingerie. My male companions for the evening meanwhile seemed more than impressed with the “assets” the girls had to offer. Hetero or not, even I can’t deny that the final number, where two dancers shaved each others legs and sprayed water on each other was hot, hot, hot.

As much as we all know men love boobs, without a doubt the highlight of the show was the performances by acrobats/contortionists Brianna Darwin and Sasha. These amazing people climbed up walls, jumped through hoops and moved their bodies in ways that this out of shape writer will most certainly never be able to in her life.

All in all, I had a great time at The Blood Ballet Cabaret. While the show may have some growing pains to work out, the Troupe has a great chemistry. So if they continue as planned with a monthly performance, the overall timing will certainly only get better.

* Featured image by Celia spenard-ko