Salon de l’amour

CultureSex

January in Montreal means many things: frigid weather, atrocious driving, and from a commercial perspective, Valentine’s day prep. There is no clearer demonstration of this than at the annual Salon de l’Amour et de la Seduction.

Sponsored by MyFreeCams.com, it’s held every year towards the end of January and is a massive combination of trade show, educational conference, and performance festival. The rules are that it’s eighteen plus, you must be respectful and mindful of consent, and though you’re welcome to dress to impress, you must keep your genitals covered at all times. Inclusion and open minded-ness are the name of the game, and the Salon does a lot to make sure its disabled attendees are comfortable, with ramps and seating areas for those with visible and invisible illnesses.

As a reporter who’s had the honor of covering the event every year, the differences between this year and last year’s Salon did not go unnoticed. One of the biggest changes was clearly due to Canada’s recent legalization of recreational marijuana.

Though in previous years, vendors of bongs and pipes had one or two tiny booths, this year their presence was much grander. One massive booth offered pipes, vapes, and bongs in a variety of materials and price points. Another booth was devoted to HighonLove.ca, a Canadian company that makes hemp-based massage and bath oils, lubricants, and even chocolate body paint.

Though their products seem sound, their prices are quite high, with a bottle of massage oil going for as much as sixty bucks. The representative I spoke to said that this was because the product contained no fillers, though it is clear that their prices are also driven up by their fancy packaging, which gives it the appearance of a luxury brand.

Among the sex educators present this year was Morgan Thorne, author of A Guide to Classic Discipline, Exploring BDSM: A Workbook for Couples and Medical Aseptic Technique for BDSM. Thorne is not only a sex educator who runs BDSM workshops and offers Couples Education and Coaching both in person and online, but she is also one of the only visibly disabled exhibitors present at the Salon.

Morgan Thorne

She spoke to me in depth from her wheelchair as I leaned on my cane about the difficulties disabled women face getting treatment for pain issues. The impression she gives off is one of empathy and open-mindedness and also has free BDSM educational videos.

Among the many sex toy vendors at the Salon this year was Bliss, which had a second booth for their other company Spank Toys. Of all the vendors at the Salon, their prices for vibrators were some of the most reasonable, with a decent model going for as little as thirty dollars.

Bliss

I noticed upon arrival that there were fewer exhibitors this year. A representative of the company named Jeff told me that this was because the cost of exhibiting at the Montreal show – the Salon also has events in Las Vegas, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Regina, Red Deer, and Toronto – was particularly high this year. Despite the high cost, some smaller vendors were also at the Salon to showcase their works.

One such vendor is DicksWithWicks.com, which sells penis-shaped candles. I asked their representative whether her products were modeled on a real penis and she told an amazing story. She was on social media one day when a man sent her an unsolicited dick pic. Her horror and sense of violation quickly turned to empowerment.

She asked him for more photos of his junk from different angles, which he freely and willingly provided. The photos were then used to make the mold for the candles. When the man in question saw the products, he demanded a share of profits, to which she rightfully replied that he sent the images freely and with no presumption of privacy and she therefore owed him nothing. In the era of #MeToo, we need stories like hers more than ever, and it is companies like these that we need to support.

Another small vendor present was Exotique Spa Candles, a company that makes blacklight sensitive candles for sex play. Designed to not burn you when the wax is poured on your skin, the proceeds of their products go to the Alberta sex positive education and community center, a sex ed group that gives courses and workshops on consent and sexual health.

Their representative spoke to me in depth about how there is still a lot of shame tied to sex and sexuality in Canada and that the shame keeps people from having healthy discussions about it. A lack of discussion and health education has led to such problems as the increasing rates of gonorrhea and syphilis among people over the age of fifty. Information about their non-profit can be found at Aspecc.ca.

In addition to vibrators, dildos, candles, and lingerie, the Salon features the latest sex toy tech. La Marquise Sex Toys had a lifelike sex doll on display. Their rep said the entire doll costs around ten thousand dollars, but they also had lifelike hips with vagina and anus built in for four hundred dollars.

.Another company, Robot Sex Machine, had two machines in operation, demonstrating how their technology could be used to rhythmically move dildos and pocket pussies.

One of the biggest disappointments of the Salon this year was their kink corner. Though in the past the kink section had ambient lighting and tamer displays of kink, this year was a demonstration of mismanagement and a lack of discussion about what should be shown.

When I arrived the kink corner on Saturday around 2 pm, the area was impossibly dark due to a lighting issue that had never been resolved, and the displays of kink were too hardcore even for this crowd.

Many who come to the Salon and check out the kink corner are not kinky themselves, but curious and perhaps tempted to try it. That means that what they see should not be overly shocking, and should certainly represent healthy BDSM relationships to dispel myths resulting from the Jian Ghomeshi trials and the abuse portrayed in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Unfortunately, while one section showed a tame display of rope play, a kinkster in another section was furiously spanking and whipping a sub with few check-ins or after care. It was a display that turned the stomach of my friends, some of whom are kinky themselves.

It was the kind of display that would scare some off and give others the impression that abuse is acceptable if you call it BDSM. That said, I know the kink community can do better, and here’s hoping they do so next year.

The Salon de l’Amour is a lot of fun. Not only can you get quality sex toys and lingerie at discount prices, but you’ll also see great shows, see innovations in sex toy tech, and learn about sexual techniques, identities, and kinks. Your ticket also has the benefit of helping small businesses and educational groups that in the era of #Metoo need our support more than ever.

Check it out, have a blast, and leave your judgments and biases at the door.

Photos by Kerry Ann Cannon

CultureSex

Now that society is acknowledging the widespread problem of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse thanks to the #MeToo movement, it is more important than ever to discuss what healthy expressions of sexuality are. They are not the expressions of willful ignorance and internalized misogyny of morons like actress Catharine Deneuve, who cannot tell the difference between consensual and non-consensual sexual conduct. They ARE what you will see, explore, and learn about at Montreal’s annual Salon de l’Amour et de la Séduction.

Held every year at Place Bonaventure, the event hosts vendors of sex toys and lingerie while a stage at the back shows you the world’s best in erotic performance art and burlesque. A Fetish corner has members of Montreal’s alternative sexual community who will talk about BDSM and why it’s a far cry from the abusive behavior you see in Fifty Shades of Grey.

A lecture section hosts renowned experts like Dr. Laurie Betito and Dr. Jess who discuss everything from sex after 50 to the anatomy of the G spot and clitoris. Non-profit groups like the Sexual Health Network of Quebec will answer questions, hand out condoms, and tell you why teaching kids about consent and STI prevention and contraception is so important.

Porn stars and cosplayers are there for meets and greets and the floor is peppered with the occasional vendor of non-sexual wares. Innovators in sexual technology are there to sell and tell you why their products are different from what’s already on the market.

One such vendor is Chip, representing Boy Butter, an innovation in lubrication technology. His product is one of the few lubricants originally designed for men, though he told me many women enjoy it as well.

He explained that most sexual lubricants take for granted that women produce their own naturally – though anyone truly familiar with female anatomy knows that this is not always the case. As Chip demonstrated, his product is designed to stay slick without getting sticky and while the original Boy Butter isn’t condom safe, his other product, You’ll Never Believe It’s Not Boy Butter, is.

Dr. Laurie Betito is an author and the host of a radio show on CJAD 800. In addition to giving a lecture on sex after 50, she was there to answer questions about sex and sexuality. She provided this reporter with valuable insight on sex with disabilities and explained that after the age of 50, sexual problems are largely emotional in women, and primarily physical in men.

Dr. Laurie is also a member of the Sexual Health Network of Quebec, an organization devoted to teaching sex ed in public schools throughout Quebec. The Network had their own booth at the Salon, represented by volunteers led by Stephanie Mitelman, a certified sexuality educator.

Their work focuses primarily on the prevention of unwanted pregnancies and STIs, though they also cover consent and what constitutes healthy relationships. They are ready and willing to provide lessons even in schools with existing sex-ed curricula and whether or not schools welcome their help depends on how important said schools consider sex ed. They are currently in the midst of a huge fundraising drive so if you believe in the importance of teaching kids about healthy sexual behavior, the Sexual Health Network of Quebec is a group worth supporting.

If you go to the Salon to shop, do so carefully. Though most sex toys are on sale, the larger booths tend to overcharge for even basic model vibrators and dildos. A clever shopper can however find a deal at smaller booths that will sell you vibrating bullets and massage candle for as little as ten dollars. One vendor on the outskirts of the salon sells beautiful quality corsets in a variety of sizes for thirty-five dollars each.

If you want to see a show, you are definitely in the right place. Performances from burlesque artists Scarlett James and instructors from Montreal’s Arabesque Burlesque Academy are a dazzling display proving that you don’t need to be anorexically thin with balloon boobs to be sexy. It was however, one male performer at the Salon who for me stole the show.

Brent Ray Fraser is an erotic performance artist like no other. Classically trained in fine art, he got into stripping as a way to overcome his shyness and boy did he ever succeed.

Though he is a stunning specimen of man and a very talented painter, it is the way he paints that is particularly fascinating. An artist myself I am always interested in learning about new styles and mediums, but Fraser takes this to a whole new level by painting with his penis.

He is the only painter I’ve ever seen to seamlessly combine painting with stripping. Not only does he move effortlessly but the finished painting at the end of his performance is just as beautiful and expressive, though part of me wonders how he successfully washes the acrylic paint off his member without hurting himself scrubbing. If you get a chance to see his act, DO, you’ll be dazzled for days to come.

For those of you interested in exploring an alternative sexual lifestyle, the Salon de l’Amour is best place to do it. The fetish corner has dominants and submissives from Montreal’s fetish scene who will happily teach you about healthy BDSM and even demonstrate some tools used in play.

One representative of the community explained that the Fifty Shades of Grey books brought people to them, some of whom stayed, while others found that it wasn’t for them. The clubs welcome almost every fetish except scat and blood play which can pose hygiene risks.

If you’re interested in becoming a swinger, you can explore that too, but be wary of some of these groups. One organization I would not recommend is SDC.com, a dating site for swinger couples that is attempting to break into the Canadian market. Unfortunately, their attitude is not very Canadian and against the spirit of the Salon itself.

Though the Salon is wheelchair accessible and has a designated rest area for disabled attendees, the representative of SDC I spoke to was rude and elitist. The regional director I met said they refuse the disabled and insisted they have strict (aka snooty) criteria.

Whether this is his own prejudice or indicative of his company’s broader culture of bigotry is unclear. If it is the latter, it has no place at the Salon, which clearly prides itself on inclusion. I recommend that those interested in swinging look elsewhere.

If you’re a prude, a body shamer, or an LGBTQIphobe, stay away from the Salon. You are not welcome. If you’re over 18 and respectful, then check it out. You’re guaranteed great bargains and breathtaking performances.

* Photos by Kerry Ann Cannon

CultureSex

The Salon de L’Amour et de la Séduction aka The Everything to Do with Sex Show is Montreal’s annual sex show. The show is dedicated to being “the innovative force behind spreading openness and appreciation for all the different facets of romance, sexuality, and self-improvement.” The event is part trade show, is part performance show, and part lecture series.

The message is of the show is one of sex positivity. If you’re a self-professed prude and/or thinks that the free expression of consensual sexuality is evil, wrong, or shameful, stay away.

This show is not for you.

If you’re out to have some fun, get some sex toys or lingerie at discounted prices, and maybe see a show, the Salon is a must see. It features top burlesque acts and strippers and a kink corner where people are invited to explore and learn about alternate forms of sexuality.

The show is 18+, no exceptions, not even for babies, though given the loud noises and constant flurry of activity, the rule is understandable. The dress code is “Dress to Impress” and people are welcome to wear latex, leather, or lace. Though in Canada you are allowed to go topless, organizers ask that attendees keep their crotches covered.

In a curtained off corner of the space, there are seminars by sexperts such as Dr. Laurie Betito, a clinical psychologist specializing in sex therapy who has a radio show on CJAD about sex and relationships. She is also works with the Sexual Health Network of Quebec.

The Sexual Health Network of Quebec was one of the many sex positive nonprofit groups present at the show. The Network is an organization that believes that choices about sex are best made freely through education and provide free sex ed to youth in Montreal schools.

At the booth, they gave away condoms and sold T-shirts, bullet vibrators and flavored massage candles in support of their cause. When I spoke to one of their volunteers she told me that the election of Cheeto-Head in the US had not only increased donations to American nonprofits like Planned Parenthood, but also to groups like the Sexual Health Network, a public acknowledgment of their contribution to society’s sexual health.

Another non-profit at the show was the Alternate Lifestyles Community Center, an organization devoted to education, information, and support for alternative and marginalized sexual communities. As one of their volunteers put it, the organization acknowledges that we’re all fucked up and that it’s time to accept and work with it.

Photo by Chris Zacchia (Salon de l’amour 2011)

As the group was among many representing the kink community at the show, I asked the volunteer – Stephanie – what they thought of Fifty Shades of Grey. “It’s abuse,” she said.

On the one hand, she told me the books brought many people into the kink community who would not have explored that side of their sexuality. On the other hand the book gave these newbies an inaccurate notion of what kink is all about.

In the kink demonstrations held at the show, you saw the dominant constantly checking with the submissive, making sure she’s alright and is consenting to what’s being done to her. As Stephanie pointed out, in Fifty Shades of Grey the protagonist says No and uses her safe word but the dominant keeps going.

This is a violation of the rules of BDSM play which actually give the submissive control over what is happening. It is the dominant’s responsibility to take care of the sub and make sure they are ok with what is happening during a play session, also called a scene.

I asked the Stephanie whether BDSM contracts are necessary for play. The notion of having to have a contract for sex play sounds like a buzzkill and she agreed, partly due to the implications of calling it a contract. In their workshops on BDSM, the Center calls agreements about acceptable play negotiations, for calling it a contract suggests that violations would be enforceable in a court of law, which they usually aren’t.

Though many go to the Salon for information and to see a show, many go for the shopping. The Salon showcases vendors of sex toys, lingerie, and adult films, with business owners providing insights into their industries and the challenges they face.

Annick Samson and Jessica Filion are the proprietors of Vices & Caprices, a sex shop in Blainville that also sells online. Though their shop is new, they are already facing persecution from the City, which is claiming that their space in an 18+ tanning salon has not been zoned for their type of business.

There was also concern about exposing their products to children when neither their business nor the tanning salon permits underage customers. As it turns out, the complaint was not filed by parents or clergy, but by their competitor who is trying to force them out of business.

Another vendor at the show was Vid Vicious, an adult film director whose business card features the motto: “Keep Calm and Watch Porn!”

Vicious’ impressive resume includes films and Season 2 of Porn Star Academy, a French language reality TV show where competitors compete to become an adult film star.

I asked Vid about the status of the porn industry in Quebec and he said that it’s dying because Quebec consumers prefer American films over locally made ones. Vid also expressed frustrations about the illegal sharing of his films, saying that within a week of his movies coming out someone will have uploaded a copy onto a free site. When I asked how strictly copyright rules are enforced here, he spoke of the difficulties tracing the original uploader and how quickly people share the illegal uploads.

Montreal’s annual Salon is a weekend of fun, bringing warmth to an otherwise chilly city in the winter. It’s a place where nearly all are welcome, great for the shopping, shows, and lessons about sex that may prove handy someday. Check it out next year!

* Featured image by Jo Gorsky

CityCultureSexThe Morning After

Planning ahead: FTB Salon de l'amour bingo card (photo Chris Zacchia)

Close your eyes, I’ve got five words I want you to mull over: Everything to do with sex.

What’s the first thing that pops into your head?   Goliath dildos?   Full body leather harness??   Japanese pocket pussy???   These foxy fuck-toys and more await at the Everything to do with Sex Show, taking place this weekend at Place Bonaventure.

Ah yes, the Everything to do with Sex Show, or Salon de la Seduction de l’Amour as it’s know en francais, is a bit of a wet dream for a sex columnist such as myself.   They’ve been tempting us with their ads in the metro all month, billing themselves as “Canada’s best adult consumer and trade show.”

What new pleasures await?   Surely there must be some technological advances in the world of sensuality and sex.   This year, they feature over 40 local and international exhibitors, two stages and seminars on topics ranging from “Bigger Better Multiples: Orgasms for Everyone” to “Electroplay, the Violet wand.”

My imagination has been running wild all week wild as what I expect to see at this weekend’s convention!   We decided to turn it into a scavenger hunt of sorts, a veritable bingo of cock, clit and jizz.   Winner takes all my clothes, that is, haha.

In preparation for the convention, I spoke with Phuong Ly of Joy Toyz, a Plateau-based, woman-owned sex toy boutique that will be exhibiting and holding workshops.   Here’s what she had to say:

Morning After: Tell me a bit about the workshops you’re putting on at the show.

Phuong Ly: Velma Candyass will be presenting her Striptease and Burlesque workshop. It’s a little teaser of her 6 weeks course, starting Jan. 26 – March 2. Visitors will see and participate at the seminar. We’re talking about the shimmy and shaking, using accessories like the boa and gloves to accentuate the body and curves, the use of music and where “burlesque” originated from.

I will be presenting the “Beginners Guide to Sex Toys” a little teaser from my online course. There I explain how to look and choose a sex toy for the first time, what are the good and bad toys, breaking taboos, etc.

MA: Why is it important to hold a convention like this?

PL: At a convention you get to browse, ask questions, attend a seminar about sex and watch the amazing shows (burlesque performance, fashion show etc). It allows someone who would be shy in visiting a sex shop to come to this type of convention and feel less inhibited. You don’t have to buy – although there will be plenty of deals happing at the Salon Amour.

MA: What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen at the expo?

PL: Honestly I could probably say that I’ve seen everything – nothing really fazes me. But the Salon Amour is pretty tame, so I don’t expect to see many ‘strange things.’ The emphasis on this show is to be inviting and ease people to exploring their sensual self.

MA: Anything else you’d like to add?

PL: We will be presenting workshops “Art of Pleasuring your Man or Women” on Feb. 4 and 11, respectively. And if people missed out on seeing Velma Candyass during her striptease seminar, they can always sign up for the first class on Jan. 26 for the complete version.

Now, let the games begin… check back soon for my review!