self improvment Archives - Forget The Box

This year, I’ve got a novel idea for all the singles or those swimming in murky, non-committal waters, whose stomach turns a little when they think of spending another Valentine’s Day without a date – try doing yourself for a change. And I’m not talking about dropping a Thundercats reference amongst a group of teenagers only to have them stare back at you blankly.

I mean, treat yourself like every night’s a first (or second, or even third) date. You know how you want your place to look when you’ve got a date coming over – no toast crusts lingering on old plates, no piles of dirty socks heaped beside the bed, no ring crusted in the toilet bowl. Instead of being on your best behaviour just for a date, try doing it for yourself.

Okay, so maybe you already do that, some of us have differing standards when it comes to cleanliness. You can also try taking yourself out for dinner. Can you remember the last time you took the time for yourself to eat a nice meal? Wear a fabulous outfit, bring a book or magazine, and order dessert. A woman eating alone in a restaurant projects a certain degree of mystique that is irresistible to certain men.

I’m sure it goes without saying that the topic of masturbation would eventually arise when exploring the concept of dating yourself. Ladies, as if you need an excuse to invest in a new pleasure object, but why not treat yourself to a sex toy this Valentine’s Day?

For some who are entering into this foray for the first time, it can be an intimidating or daunting task. In a perfect world, you could enter into the ultimate pleasure dome and try all the toys for yourself before picking the one that tickles your fancy the best, but we can’t always get what we want.

One solution is to head to your friendly neighbourhood sex shop for some advice. In this case, try the video series by Phuong from Joy Toyz entitled, a practical guide to sex toys 101. With her first instalment, she sets the dildo vs. vibrator debate straight, with future instalments to come on choosing the best vibrator, toy care, prostate stimulation and more. Go register for the video series now.

It has often been said that it’s when you stop looking for love that it’ll find you. Here’s an idea I recently heard from a friend that can help with that process. Make a list of 3-5 qualities you’re looking for in a partner. Maybe you’re looking for someone caring and compassionate, someone independent and feisty, or someone courageous and witty.

Instead of hopelessly searching for someone that matches your description, work on developing those qualities within yourself. I know it sounds almost childishly simple, but by instilling yourself with the qualities you’re looking for in a partner, you’ll naturally attract people with those same qualities.

Finally, Valentine’s Day focuses so much on romantic love, particularly of the heterosexual variety. From what I’ve gathered from this year’s crop of cliché-ridden articles and TV shows, women want to receive roses and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates from men. Couples out there, you could do so much better than that.

If your girlfriend is the kind of girl who goes giddy for flowers, this would be a good opportunity to show that off. And it goes both ways too. I once bought a boy a flower for Valentine’s Day and impressed the pants right off him. At any rate, I hope you know your partner well enough by this point that finding a little heart-tickling gift that makes them feel special shouldn’t be that hard. Go beyond the ordinary this year, and the rewards could be extraordinary!

And why should we only celebrate romantic love on Valentine’s Day? Take it as an opportunity to reflect on all the love in your life. I have an amazing family and many wonderful friends that I love very dearly, so why not relish the opportunity to tell them. I think I saw cartoon-branded Valentines at the Dollarama!

Photo 1 courtesy of the wonderfully talented artist Lee Price – http://www.leepricestudio.com/2007-04.html