The Naked Truth

Ontario resident Brian Coldin has gone up against an Ontario court, claiming that Canada’s current nudity laws should be struck down on account of being overly broad and archaic. The proprietor of a naturist resort, Coldin has been arrested numerous times for public nudity, including five counts that stem from incidents that occurred at Tim Horton’s and A&W drive-thru-s.

Coldin hired a prominent defense lawyer, Clayton Ruby, who argued that not only was he not completely naked (he was wearing sandals), but his nudist behavior was not done in a “prurient or indecent manner”.

The decision will be handed down by a court this May.

Be it resolved that Canada’s laws prohibiting public nudity are an infringement of constitutional rights.


Under the current laws, a throw-back to the stuffy Victorian morality code, indecent acts done with intent to insult or offend in a public place are prohibited. Yet few activities match the thrill of being naked in public, especially around people who are as accepting of it as you are.

I’m going to bare it all here I love being naked. I was raised in what can be said to be a “naked house”.   This is not to say that we ran around in our birthday suits every day because that could get a wee bit awkward, but that it was a climate where nudity was not something to be ashamed of. I guess you can blame my mother for my desire to strip down and bare it all in the name of burlesque!

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with nudity. As psychologist Brian Ferris told the National Post, nudity causes conflicted feelings between wanting to accept it on one level and wanting to condemn it on another. I guess some of us just have more of the acceptance and less of the condemnation.

Ferris also points out that children don’t feel the least bit self-conscious at a nude beach, since they lack the connection between nudity and sex. Take a moment to indulge your inner child and strip it all off. If you’re reading this at home, I encourage you to turn this article into an interactive experience by peeling away your clothes. Even if it’s just around your apartment, embrace your naked self!

Nudity is art! It can also be used for protest, as evidenced by a recent group of Ukrainian feminists advocating democracy, I think… I was too busy checking out their boobs. Nudity is self-expression! Nudity is freedom from the bondage of clothing!!


A society where everyone ran around naked all the time is tantamount to anarchy. Nothing would get done!

Next time you’re on the metro, here’s one of my favorite games to pass the time how many people on this car would you fuck? I’ve been mentally undressing attractive strangers for years, and my odds are usually around one or two per car. Now imagine all the rest of the rejects, naked as the day they were born. This is precisely why we could need some sort of committee to decide who could benefit from the laws most.

And I would like to be on that committee, as the jewels in the haystacks would more than make up for all the flabby stomachs, hairy chests and sagging testicles.

Post script:

At the end of the day, nudity is about acceptance. To be comfortable with nudity, you have to be comfortable with yourself. It’s a little like putting your words out there to be read, judged, chewed up and spit out… it’s definitely not always easy but often you learn a little something about yourself and others’ perceptions of you along the way.

In order for Canada’s nudity laws to have any type of meaningful change, there would also need to be a change in people’s attitudes to remove the stigma of nudity, and the societal pressures to look a certain way.   While skin in and of itself may be sexy, it isn’t nearly as sexy as someone who is wholly comfortable in that stripped down skin, no matter how they look!

Photo courtesy of

Facebook Comments


  • I’ve always wished I liked being naked more. I look good naked but feel much more comfortable clothed.

    I’d hesitate before casting a vote to allow public nudity, not because I don’t want to or enjoy seeing people naked and comfortable – but because there will always be those jackasses that believe it’s their right to judge, sexualize and comment upon the appearance of others.

    I wish it weren’t the case – but as a society – we’re just not mature enough to act like children.

  • I don’t think you should discriminate against women with hairy chests, flabby stomachs or sagging testicles.

  • i’m not sure the disparaging comment about flabby stomachs, hairy chests and sagging testicles is very well placed in an article about the acceptance of nudity, unless the bias of your column is something altogether different…

    -10 pts

  • As one of the organizers of Bareoke I have to say that I agree with Megan, Roni and Alexxxandra. That one sentence ruined this (otherwise great) article for me 🙁 Our main goal is to create acceptance of all body types. This is why we started organizing events like this. This is WHY we do what we do!

  • I agree whole heartedly with Alexxxandra.

    I’ve worked hard in my life to accept myself exactly the way I am and I work hard in what I do professionally to make sure that everyone else is accepted exactly how they are too 🙂

    YAY for body love!!

  • So I see nudity should be a constitutional right for SOME people…if this should come into effect I’ll be sure to keep repressing myself and keep my flabby stomach hidden where it can’t bother anyone.

  • As co-host and organizer of Bareoke, I appreciate the shout-out.. thanks Jess 🙂 It’s nice to have personal connections to bloggers 😉 😉

    However I must agree with Alexxxandra. A major component of our nights and well everything we do with Glam Gam is acceptance. Strut your stuff no matter what your body type is. Skin is sexy! And so are hairy chests! Tight or saggy…… Who cares? Or as I mentioned on our page, just come hang out! (literally or figuratively.) Nudity is not mandatory at any of our nights.. it’s just always an option 🙂

    Cum one cum ALL as you said so nicely above 🙂


  • well said Michael… your comment was not yet up when I wrote mine. This is exactly why we do what we do! That and having the most fun ever! 🙂

  • And it’s more than just the last sentence unfortunately. A committee to decide who is hot or not enough to be naked??? Oh dear 🙁

  • first of all, it’s nice to see so many readers! so many readers taking me so seriously…. next you’ll think jonathan swift really wanted to eat babies.
    going back and re-reading this hangover-induced clusterf*ck, i can see where your negative comments are coming from. i was trying albeit, in retrospective, poorly to argue both sides of the coin, i guess i shouldn’t have ended with the “con” side, as my own personal beliefs falls on the “pro” side. time to write a post-script to clear up some of this unpleasantness. sorry again guys….

  • Love the post script. Great adjustments. Sometimes things don’t come out on paper as we have them in the head. I learned that the hard way. I didn’t realize that you were organizing the article with pros and cons. I thought the whole thing was your opinion and I was confused.

    My perception of you has always been in the highest esteems…you are a wonderful person, a great friend a babe, and an excellent writer.

  • My perception of you has always been in the lowest esteem… I kid I kid.
    I love you as a person, a friend, a performer and an author (especially a naked person, friend performer and author) but since I have such a strong opinion on the above-mentioned topic, I could not help but jump in. I guess I especially felt the need to put in my two cents when I saw my name mentioned in the article (which again.. thanks for the plug… wink wink)

    I’m glad you added the post-script and I look forward to carrying on the conversation face to face in our birthday suits soon.

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